Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
