I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
