Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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