I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
