I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
