Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
