i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I think people are normalizing furries
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Randomize
