What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
