There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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