Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize