If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize