if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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