I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
