I'm pants shitting drunk right now
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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