My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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