She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize