We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
