I heard we made out
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
