I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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