There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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