I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
