I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
