I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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