I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I met the friendliest cop last night
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
