when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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