Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
