and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
