She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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