i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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