At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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