You're so nebulous sometimes
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
