That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
