he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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