I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
