Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
