He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
