I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
