Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
