There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
