her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
