There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
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