Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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