I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
