i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize