You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
