God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
no you cant smoke seaweed
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
