Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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