'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
