So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize