i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
