he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
We left an ass print on the piano.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize