I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Randomize
