Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
