i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
