my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
