how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
