let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Less talking, more tequila
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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