I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
this will be a night to untag.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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