then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
