he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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