I want to have your abortion
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
