We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
