I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
