How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
accomplished twins. life is a go
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
