guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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