Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Randomize
