we have officially lost it.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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