I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
We are all done wearing pants today
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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