: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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