You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Randomize
